Core wounds are beliefs we have about ourselves that were conditioned into us during childhood, though if we experience a trauma or multiple traumas in adulthood, the intense emotions associated with them can program a core wound into the subconscious mind at any age. As is said by my teacher Thais Gibson, they are the base meanings we give to situations when we can't process them emotionally.
Think about an emotionally charged situation you experienced lately. Did you make it mean something about yourself? Somebody didn't call you back? or ghosted you? Did you make it mean you aren't good enough or unlovable? You'll be alone forever? If you're Securely attached you'll more than likely give yourself and the other person more latitude and leeway for mistakes. For the Insecurely attached however, it is a very different story. These painful stories we tell ourselves repeatedly on autopilot about situations in our lives are born out of these core wounds. They form the basis of our personalities and are deeply ingrained in our self-identity. They disregulate our emotions, inform our behaviors to act out or withdrawal, and effect our ability to be in healthy relationships.
As children, we are very suggestible and impressionable. Up until 8 years old or so, we are in a light state of hypnosis with our brainwaves in alpha and theta waves which are the prime states of consciousness to receive programming for the subconscious mind. If we are in households with violence, drug abuse, alcoholics, narcissistic parents or siblings, and a host of other less than ideal situations, what we see and hear repeatedly builds a set of subconscious programs. Beliefs such as I am unsafe, I will be abandoned and alone, I am unlovable, bad, stupid, unworthy, not enough, and many others, riddle our brains and become deeply ingrained sets of subconscious programming that operates from the shadows in adulthood and create a host of problems for ourselves.
The good news is we can become conscious of core wounds and reprogram them to something more beneficial, helpful, and true. The old programming from the past doesn't have to define who we are now. Repetition plus emotion will program or reprogram the subconscious mind. We can use this to our advantage. If there is a core wound such as, I am not enough, we can turn this around by finding evidence in our lives to the contrary as a daily practice in the morning, evening, or both. These are the times of day, just after we wake up and before we go to bed, when our minds are naturally in alpha state. How were you enough today? You can go through the 7 areas of life(career, financial, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, relationships) and find at least 2 or 3 pieces of evidence as to how you were enough. Write them down, rinse and repeat daily. If you do this repeatedly and with a positive emotion laced in to lift you, you can quickly begin to create new neural pathways that will form the basis for your new subconscious programming. How would it feel to have that voice inside your head offering you encouragement, love and understanding instead of demeaning and bashing you and others at every turn?
That is the blessing of neuroplasticity. We don't have to stick with the old programming from childhood that limits our ability to love ourselves and others. We can learn to stretch and grow in ways that not only feel good, but will form the foundation of a new life based on the truth of your inherent worth, lovability, and magnificence.
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